Where Surprise took me…
My body.
It constantly surprises me.
In the early years of being a grown-up, doing activities in repetition, such as prep cooking long shifts, drinking late hours, and bicycling on city streets, usually resulted in negative gains:
Numb fingers from plunging my hands into cold water sinks to clean lettuce.
Hangovers & weight gain from alcohol and the necessary food stuffs to absorb said alcohol.
Charley-horses & knee pain from riding my mountain bike over miles of broken Manhattan asphalt.
The only repetitive activity that ever benefited me was yoga, yet I abruptly stopped after 15-years of practice due to a change in location (Zoom fixed that).
It turns out I’m not the yogi that yoga’s on my own.
While many long-time friends associate me with some form of physical activity over the decades - yoga, running, working out - I’ve never defined myself as an athlete.
And I don’t “present” as one.
In fact, I’m almost always operating at a base level of ability.
I’m not a beginner, however; I’m a very slow advancer.
Which brings me to the most recent surprise…
As long as I don’t give up on something, I see results.
Remember, this pertains to negative pursuits, as well. Like overtraining and not resting enough. My body doesn’t clearly discern good from bad, and it takes my brain a while to figure out the difference to enact change.
The most recent shocker is that I’m strong.
I always relied on natural flexibility, and I never pushed myself past what was comfortable as far as strength or endurance (aside from the game-changing swim team event I wrote about in ACCOLADES).
Instead, I associated physical challenges with stress & injury…
Anxiety, windedness, and sore muscles.
I never knew how strong I could be because I stopped short of hitting the wall.
A year ago exactly, my partner & I began Crossfit training.
Now let me stop you right there.
We don’t live in Hong Kong or London. This is not ninja warrior Crossfit.
We live in a small, local community and pay €20/month to workout at a Box (a repurposed warehouse space). We train with a mix of people with different ages, body types, and abilities.
Today, we had a large “menu” of a workout, like the specials of the day listed on a café’s whiteboard.
It began with 400m of running.
Then… 15 x Power Clean, 25 x Box Jump Over, 30 x Toes to Bar, 100 jump rope.
And then do it all again in reverse!
Ugh, we all thought.
The timer went off, and we started running.
I’m a slow runner. Just a fact.
And as I watched everyone disappear around the corner ahead of me, I thought:
Damn. 30-seconds in, and I’m already last.
Then I thought, “I can make up the time jumping rope.” I’m pretty good at jumping rope as long as I don’t get panicky.
Thinking about a strategy kept me calm, as I returned to the Box to begin the rest of the series.
I was methodical in conserving my energy, knowing I wasn’t even halfway through. When I jumped up to the bar to do modified Toes (knees) to Bar, I did 30 reps nonstop.
What? Me?
This caught me up substantially before I went into jumping rope.
By the time I reversed the order, I was ahead of time and could carefully count out the final exercises to finish with a nice, slow run 2-minutes ahead of the clock.
Blew my mind.
I am slow.
I don’t like feeling anxious.
I make mistakes when I’m anxious.
Later, at the bar as my partner and I enjoyed a cold beer, I shared my surprise.
Normally, I would have been flailing around in the back of the pack, I explained.
My mind working against me. My legs sluggish.
Subconsciously failing in the first minute.
Instead, I had a strategy that surpassed my expectation.
Will I ever repeat this? I have no clue. My body does what it wants…
It always surprises me.
YOUR TURN: Surprise can be internal and external. Something happens that surprises you, but why was it surprising?
Or did your reaction surprise you more than what happened? Did you plan a surprise that didn’t meet your expectations or surpassed them?
Can the flavor of a piece of fruit or the smell of an onion field after a rain shower surprise you?
Share your story in 150 - 200 words.
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Thirty years ago, I moved to DC to volunteer in a residence for un-housed, pregnant women. From lily-white suburbia to the mean streets of what was then known as the Murder Capital of America. (Freaked my family out, but that's a different story.) I don't remember what I was doing upstairs confronting one of the residents. Maybe she'd refused a drug screen? Maybe she'd missed curfew? Don't remember. But as I spoke to her about whatever the infraction was, her eyes began to blaze and she shoved her face near mine, nose to nose. And she shouted. I stood there. No expression, no reaction, I stayed completely still. Later, when I told my supervisor about the confrontation, she said that a woman getting that close ("all up in your face") and shouting was an incitement to fight. Had I made a move, I'd have been attacked. I have no idea how I knew to remain utterly quiet. Maybe I just froze. Either way, I surprised myself that day because I'm typically a fast-twitch responder.
The knowledge came in handy a few years later when, in a different setting, I found myself once again confronted at close range and high volume. At the time, I remember thinking how glad I was I'd already learned this lesson.
We had talked about an engagement ring, but never quite got around to shopping for one. Whenever Keith asked what I might like, I hemmed and hawed. Not that I didn’t want to marry him—I was crazy about him. But I didn’t have an engagement ring the first time around and was shy about asking him to spend money on me. One Saturday morning, sitting at my dining room table after breakfast, Keith brought up the subject again. “Have you thought about what you’d like for a ring.” “Um, not really.” I dropped my eyes. “Well, would something like this do?” Keith placed a small, square jewelry box on the table in front of me. My mouth fell open. “Oh Keith, what am I supposed to do with this?” He grinned and winked. “Open it.” I felt a flush run through my body. As I lifted the lid, my eyes widened. “Did I surprise you?” Keith asked. That’s how it started, and he’s still surprising me, twenty years later.